[PERSONAL | MY DAY] Daily Updates #18, #19, #20

Warning: I most likely will not be editing these posts, so please forgive any mistakes I make.

…oooops. Three days without an update. Oops. Oops. Oops.

I’m going to admit, I’ve been working HARD…at trying to get motivate to get a lot of stuff done. There’s a lot of stuff I want to do this month and I genuinely feel like I’m failing for this month’s goal. I guess my goal make up was too much, eh? I suppose I should just focus on artwork this month and if I get bored, do some dang website shiznit. I think that works. Right? Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

So, these past few days, what have I been doing?

It’s pretty much been going to work, coming home and attempting to work on stuff, and then suddenly waking up two days ago at this point feeling like a frazzled, weak mess. All the bad thoughts I kept having and that were slowly going away just so suddenly became amplified! I’ve been crying a lot and all I want to do is spend time with Hurricane, snuggling him.

I mean, yes, I want to do other stuff too…but I mostly want to spend time with him.

So these past two days has been a lot of crying, some heavy desire for a lot of self-sabotage, and mostly just being sick of where I live. I realized today too (or was it yesterday?) that I have shelter, but not a home. So, in a way, I am “homeless”.

I was pretty upset today too, so Hurricane and I drove down to see my mom, so I could tell her what was going on. It was nice. Hurricane and I snuggled and spent a bit of time with our cat.

I also started to use my Instagram again. I honestly had no idea what I was going to use it for originally (you can tell…it’s just food with filters for most of the posts so far). It wasn’t until a few people mentioned a lot of people like to follow artist on Instagram that I decided that, hey, why not try to promote myself on there? So I began.

I’m actually amazed at the initial responses. It’s actually SUPER cool. I’m looking forward to posting more now.

Another thing too is I definitely need to sit down and spend some time contemplating. I feel it’s necessary for me to do this to help move me forward, but my mind is resisting out of fear of being hurt. It’s afraid too that it’s going to trigger something in me that is going to cause me to become very upset.

I think I need to do so though. Some self reflection is a good idea.

Um…also, I made a chocolate cake with strawberry frosting last night. It’s delicious and a good call on my part.

I was going to sleep over Hurricane’s place, but after going around the block about three times to try and find parking, his father called and snapped at us and was apparently unaware I was going to sleep over. I didn’t feel comfortable or welcome, plus I couldn’t find a place to park, so I dropped the pretty boy off and drove home.

I really wish I could have slept over though. His mother was upset about that, and do you know what, I’m upset too. I really wanted to stay over!

Ah well. I guess I should take some time to either get some rest or do some awesome stuff.

Yeah, okay. Bye~!