Warning: I most likely will not be editing these posts, so please forgive any mistakes I make.
What an unproductive, unsatisfying day it was today. It wasn’t even unproductive in the relaxing kind of way. I’m procrastinating on relaxing by doing things that aren’t relaxing, but aren’t productive either. They’re just time wasters and I need to stop it.
Okay, maybe not everything today was a time waster, technically. Like I had work today. I had a nice, 5-hour work day and it was nice. I like 5 hour work days. I know a lot of people hate having anything less than 8 hours, but I welcome anything less than 7 hours. They don’t zap out my energy, I can generally keep my spirits up high, and if I wasn’t being a lazy, procrastinating bum, it would lend to both my creativity and leisure!
Work today was okay overall. I got stuck on the service desk for most of the day, which is perhaps the one place I DESPISE at work. I mean, I would rather do that than a maintenance job, but if I had to choose between anything else and the service desk, I would choose anything else. Put me outside on carts for all I care, but DON’T PUT ME AT THE SERVICE DESK. They definitely put me at the service desk because I’m just not good at what’s suppose to be my job and I don’t fit their expectations. And do you know what? That’s okay. Yes, it makes me feel bad, but when I really think about it…really, what would I rather be? A leader in an already established company or a leader in something I build up myself? I’ll take the latter. I’ll be my own dang CEO and president, dang it.
Today, I also got my first coaching! YAAAAAAAY!!!! I’ve been wanting to experience one of those! Okay, so while technically a coaching isn’t suppose to be a good thing, I’ve been wanting to get one simply for the experience of having one. So many people talk about it like it’s a bad thing (I suppose in a way, it’s bad because if you get three of them, you’re fired), but to me they’re not. They can lead to a BIG BLESSING! BIG. BIG. BIG.
Or maybe I’m just sick of my job.
I don’t know.
I guess there was a day I missed of work that I didn’t even know I did? I don’t know. The coaching reminded me very much of all those times in school when the teachers would tell us that the next level of school wouldn’t take any of crap…and then we’d get to that level and that level would complain about the same exact thing. It’s so silly. The atmosphere was really silly, but other than being caught off guard by the day I accidentally missed, it was fine.
I’m pretty happy to say I had the opportunity to let them know I no longer want to be a CSM. I absolutely cannot perform what they have asked me to do. I’m honestly too timid inside now and far too weak to handle the management duties. As badly as I wanted to be CSM again, I realize that I no longer have the passion for it, I don’t want its responsibility, and I far too rusty to be a part of it. On top of that, I REALLY do not like how this store runs its front end, so if I could get away from it, that would be great.
What department they will put me in, I don’t know. I wonder if they’ll ask me? I doubt it, but that would be nice. I hope it’s some place that won’t prompt too many stress headaches from me.
They keep suggesting I go see a doctor for my headaches, since they are a huge hindrance on my work performance, but I don’t know where to find one nor do I have the money for it (and I would rather put the money I do have elsewhere). I also really highly doubt the doctor will be helpful. I really suspect they will give me some typical headache medicine, that is completely ineffective for my stress headache. I know. I’ve tried MANY TIMES over. There’s a significant difference between the two. There’s been too many times I took pills, hoping they would work, when the origin of the headache was stress and anxiety, only to have it do nothing. I’m lucky when sleep helps it.
I know too that these headaches will begin to go away once I become balanced once again. I even know how to become balanced again! It’s just a matter of balancing out those balances with everything else…or not. I don’t know. All I know is I know what I need to do to balance and to heal. It’s going to take some time, but I’m certain it’s going to happen.
Before I came home, I went grocery shopping just a bit. It’s not pay day yet, but since I know I don’t really have any money for groceries (by the time my bills come out, I’m probably not going to have any money for gas or anything else…), so I decided to use some of my emergency money to get a few things that could potentially last me another two weeks…for the most part, anyway.
The least-lasting ones were definitely the pizzas I got, as well as the taco rice. Those will probably go away very fast. However, the remainder of the items — peppers, onions, vegetable mixes, pasta, veggie burgers, bread — can last me a bit longer, especially if I do what I plan to do with them.
I plan on making veggie chili with the peppers and onions, which should last me about two weeks. There’s going to be some other stuff in it too, but I’m just telling you what the peppers and onions are for, haha. If you’re curious about the recipe I will be going with, more or less, check it out here.
The vegetable mix and pasta I’m hoping to combine. I’m thinking about making some pasta sauce with lentils, onions, and garlic mixed in. Maybe some diced tomatoes too. Then I’m going to toss in some other vegetables. I think it’ll be good! The sauce should also last me quite a while, like the chili does. And by quite a while, I mean four days at the most.
I mainly bought the veggie burgers because I’m craving them, but I plan on having them with lettuce, cheese, and sauteed onions (either sauteed with water or olive oil), with a smudge of spicy mustard on top. I bought the value pack with 8 of them inside, since I figured…well, it’s not the worst thing I could be eating. It will definitely be more satisfying than some other stuff I have been eating lately, argh.
I bought bread for sandwiches too, but I don’t really know what sandwiches I’ll be making yet. I really want to make something awesome and different, but I haven’t figured out what yet.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to grab some more jugs of water soon too. I just went through my second one today. I feel really bad for putting them into my dad’s fridge, but I really want some cold water. I can’t tell you how much I miss having an endless supply of gallon water! My mom has them, but since my dad pretty much never drinks water, I have to get them myself. I’m fine with that, but it makes me feel bad for putting them in his fridge…
Oh yeah, I couldn’t figure out why the card I’m using for my food wasn’t working. When I went to check it, I saw my balance was lower than I thought it was. Oops. That’s okay though. I think I’ll save that money for another time. I’m sure I’ll be needing it soon again.
I had pizza for dinner tonight and it was delicious. It was pretty satisfying. It was the Freschetta brand, which I think may be one of my favourite brands of frozen pizza. I have some pretty fond memories of their sauce-stuffed crust. The sauce was really spicy, but I just couldn’t get enough of it! I think they discontinued it at some point; I’m certain it wasn’t as popular as cheese-stuffed crust, which makes me kind of sad.
I mostly watched a bunch of Lazy Game Review videos on YouTube and chatted with friends on Skype, before deciding to shut everything down and write this blog entry. I did try to play some of Super Pokémon Scramble, but between Skype and the videos and Facebook, I was far too distracted.
I kind of want to shut down my Facebook again for productivity reasons, but I wish that I could maintain my fan page while having my main Facebook down, but oh well. Maybe I should put up a block or something during particular times of the day so I can do awesome stuff. I don’t know.
I’m still getting a very strong feeling I need to do one of my “video game vacations” and just play a video game non-stop until the end (or at least, for four days). I’m thinking Watch_Dogs only because it’s maybe like…halfway done. I stopped for a bit because of the car scene, but I should just suck it up or see if I can skip it.
I should follow through with that feeling. I do have four days, after all, until August 1st, where I will promptly be working on artwork and website stuff!
I’m going to be completely honest — I’m actually looking forward to it.
I think I need to do a big project like that, in addition to relaxing. Maybe the big projects WILL be the relaxing ones? Who knows? Only me, when I start doing it.
Welp, I guess I better get off and head to bed. I’m certain I’ll be sleeping until I have to get up. I’m also going to be missing Hurricane like crazy because I barely talked to him today. I hope I get to talk to him tomorrow.
Good night, everybody!