[PERSONAL | RAMBLES] Goal Progress Update #1

Hello everyone! Welcome to my first goal progress update! I’m really not sure how often this will be posted. It could be once a month, once a week, once a year…hopefully not once a year, but I think you get it. It will be whenever I feel like it.

January is almost completed at this point. There’s a day left and a couple hours. It’s pretty easy to wonder, to me at least, what was accomplished during this month?

Before that though, let’s do a little review of what my goals were this month:

The Remainder of January

  • Primary Focus: Website

    • complete “Comics” subsite
    • create & complete “Conventions” subsite
    • create & complete subpages related to the above sites
    • fix online shop
  • Secondary Focus: Small Comics

    • write & draw short, small comics related to the convention characters to introduce them to the world
  • Tertiary Focus: Comics

    • continue to storyboard current comic; min. is 30 minutes a day

2016 Goals

Achievements & Failures of the Month

Going from top to bottom, let me talk to you a bit about the achievements and failures. I hope to do more detailed post about the website portion later on, but for now, I’ll give you some details here.

I’m actually VERY pleased to present to you all the Comics subsite to TrainerKelly.net! I’ll admit that it’s the only subsite I manage to 100% complete this month, but that’s okay. It was worth the effort. It was only a week ago when I got the motivation to do it and I pushed through until all my motivation was gone and I completed it.

The Comics subsite presented some challenges for myself, all self-imposed. The first challenge was to create the entire site…WITHOUT tables. If you’re not sure what tables are, that’s okay. Just pretend you know. I don’t feel like explaining them this time around.

I manage to succeed! I used no tables whatsoever on the layout. Not even for the pages that actually display the comics that have boxes on the bottom! Those info boxes were actually tricky to get down, but I managed to do them well once I got them!

This was probably the most important thing for me to complete this month and I am SO glad I managed to get it completed!

I managed to also layout the basic layout for the Convention subsite and put up all the listings on my online shop. However, I did NOT get to complete the remainder of the Convention subsite (there’s a lot of finishing details to add). I also didn’t get to add the finishing touches to my online shop as well.

For the remaining two items, I managed to do a bit. However, I definitely failed in terms of doing them every day for 30 minutes a day! It’s not like I didn’t do them though….I guess.

Can I call this month a success? I don’t think so. I had a success, but I was not successful. I failed more than I wanted to.

Excuses Reasons for Failing

So, what the frick happened?! Why did I fail so much?

Laziness and depression. Lack of motivation. Which is funny, because after YourMiniCon, I had a lot of motivation. However, it died not too long after.

Was it post-con depression?

I don’t think so. If it was, it was certainly different from my previous post-con depression! The post-con depression previously left me feeling…guilty, I suppose you could say. I would kind of just relive the feelings of the past couple of con days and would eventually get over it. However, this time around…I had SO much energy after the convention. I felt light, happy, and really could not wait for my next convention! Where was I going to go next? WHEN was I going to go next? I couldn’t wait and I was really looking forward to working towards projects that linked in with the convention travels!

However, I took a wrong turn. Instead of capitalizing on that high energy, I thought I should take a break. I had to go to my day job the next day. I worked hard leading up the convention. I deserve a break, right? A chance to relax?

Ha. ha. ha. ha…

I would have had a better time relaxing if I just worked on stuff! However, I didn’t. I had to FORCE myself to be lazy, which eventually wound up making me depressed because I could relax. Of course, by the time I actually realized it, it was too late…my motivation had dwindled down, I started to second guess myself, and it made it hard to even function. I felt like I was crawling just to get things done.

I wanted to get things done, I really did! And it’s not like I didn’t try to start them. However, I would start them and my desire to work on them would come for one moment, but disappear the next.

It’s not really where I want to be when I’m trying to achieve dreams!

I expect part of the problem is from last year. I’m still recovering from it and trying to get back into good habits. However, it’s been difficult these past two years because there are so many new things going on in my life. However, if I could just achieve balance, I will be fine.

I think I would be, at least.

Reflection

Well, first: I need to REALLY observe what “relax” means to me at a particular moment. Sometimes it means what people might usually consider to be relaxing — things like watching a movie I enjoy, spending time with Hurricane, cuddling up under a warm blanket while reading a book — but other times, relaxing means for me to work on my creative projects.

I know that probably seems really strange, but sometimes the most relaxing thing to me is to WORK! Crazy, I know. And I’m talking about my business and creative projects, not my day job…although sometimes my day job can be relaxing too.

I think next time I want to relax, I must ask myself what I mean by that, define it, and stick by it! I think I am partially influenced by others too because I don’t feel like arguing with them. I need to stand up more to accommodate MY needs. If there is something that needs a compromise, I can do that too, but not without sacrificing all of my needs!

I also thing…I need to not try so hard! When I want to work, sometimes I push myself. Sometimes this works, but right now with the state I am in…it definitely does not! What should I do instead? I think I need to set myself up with a positive attitude that rings true to me until it starts to settle in. Perhaps? I’m going into these depressed, so just changing my mind and attitude should help me to great lengths! Positive thinking can be SO powerful!

I think. I don’t know.

Maybe. I guess time will tell if that works? Maybe?

Next Month

Let’s take a look at February:

February

  • Primary Focus: Kelly’s Journey

    • rewrite Kelly’s Journey episodes that need to be rewritten
      • take notes where applicable
    • edit Kelly’s Journey episodes that need to be rewritten, if applicable
  • Secondary Focus: Japanese Prep

    • continue taking notes on Japanese
    • start the “Japanese immersion” process
  • Other:

    • launch online shop (February 1st)

    • continue with short, introduction comics

    • continue to storyboard, if applicable

The wariness in me wants to be utterly lazy and wants me to give up, but I really hope I shine through in the end! Though, watch, I won’t. Or…I don’t know. I guess ultimately, it’s up to me.

I have to finish my commissions though. I would like to do the finishing touches on the remainder of the website stuff. I think that’s it though.

Interestingly enough, I started playing my copy of Pokémon OmegaRuby, which is in Japanese and is (obviously) a Pokémon game. Perhaps my mind is unconsciously preparing me for February? I guess we’ll see!

So, until next time! See ya!