[THOUGHTS] Goal Revisions

So, I started my job as a cashier. I made a promise to myself that I would do something I actually consider to be productive (because standing for hours ringing people out isn’t exactly what I call “productive”) that day. It’s to prevent me from falling into a deep depression and being upset that I’m lagging behind what I really want to do.

In order for me to be “productive”, I need to work on some goal of mine and complete a portion of it. This could simply be just completing a sketch for my website images or writing up a blog entry.

Surprisingly enough, I’ve been able to do this. I’ve been working near-full time hours, if not full time hours (mostly 7 or 8 hours 6 days a week) and I’m able to either wake up early enough or stay up late enough to actually get my work done. I’m pretty amazed that my belief that the “tired after work” is born out of some type of laziness has gotten me through it.

I have goals and I’m not going to give up on them just because I have to do something mostly unrelated to them for 8 hours. A day has 24 hours – that leaves 8 hours of sleep AND 8 hours to do my own work after work. Assuming my body will even allow me that.

Yesterday though reminded me that not only does work not compliment my current sleeping schedule, but my goals keep me awake because there’s so much I want to do.

I haven’t hit a point where I’m overwhelmed and stressed out, which kind of surprises me. I’m actually glad for that. What I’m not glad for is how my goal set up is pretty haphazard.

You see, I currently have my “main goal” – a goal from my list of goals for this year – then I have secondary goals. I wouldn’t call them “subgoals”, since “subgoals” to me would be the breakdown of the main goal. Secondary goals are like main goals, but aren’t really at a priority level.

My current main goal is to get my website fully up and running, since I’m sick of it not being up and running. I felt that it was the best next step after finishing that dang back catalog. It requires a large set of new images, additional layout graphics, the actual layout coding, and content. My subgoals for this include drawing all the images (which are broken down into even smaller goals: sketch, lineart, base colour, shading), make layout graphics & slice where appropriate, code layouts, and make content (which is split into two goals: write up the content and put it up where appropriate, since I will be writing it on a document before the webpage for multiple reasons).

My secondary goals aren’t as important, but still important: 1.) Blog frequently with a variety of content and 2.) read the books I own (and started reading).

This blog doesn’t usually have a lot of content, but I want it to, so when my website finally launches, people will have plenty to read as well as to check out regularly. I want them to know that hey, this blog is active! Not an inactive place of word vomit. I want to prepare myself for frequent blog postings so when the time comes, I will have been doing it for a while.

My secondary goal seems silly and leisurely, but it’s important to me. I have A LOT of books in my collection and I’m actually pretty afraid that they’ll go unread. Like, I’ll be dead before I read them all. I don’t want that. I mean, sure, it won’t matter if I read them or not if I was dead, but it would be nice to be full of whatever they offer me before then.

So, why am I mentioning all this.

I want to reorganize my goal set list and work towards OTHER goals of mine. I want to make these less random and jump-around-y than they currently are.

I keep getting scared to draw my website images like I often am when I draw artwork – will it come out terribly? Will it come out great? Will I want to redraw it? Why can’t I get my hands on other coloured leads (okay, this is unrelated, but that’s okay)? Some of these pictures involve so much they seem like they would take a long time, but maybe when drawn they won’t? Oh, I don’t know. Plus I have so many to colour, MOST of them in my painted dreams style that takes a while to do.

Also, there’s a lot of images. I think around 70? I’m so worried it’s going to take me as long as my back catalog did! That had 81 images in the end. On the other hand, these images don’t really need backgrounds (minus some commissions examples, most which can wait until the main-focus-content is completed).

I know, I know – I just need to do it. I’m actually pretty happy with how my website images are coming out so far, in terms of the sketches. They’re a lot better than I thought they would be. I was also surprised how well I was drawing last night. Everything felt mostly effortless (which is a great thing). I need to suck it up and just go with it.

websitesketchdump

Perhaps what I need to do is set aside a certain amount of time to sketch (I can probably complete 2 sketches in about an hour) and some to lineart currently. I’ll wait to do the base colour until all the lineart is completed, since a lot of the pictures share similar colour schemes. I think lineart takes me about an hour per character, but I could be wrong about that. So I could set aside 3 to 4 hours to be focused on artwork; I can break that down a bit more into sketches/lineart (2:1, I guess it would be).

Blog entries are starting to get to me. Primarily because I don’t know what to blog about! Well, kind of. I’m currently blogging about my artwork, which is honestly the easiest thing to do, but it’s also really tiresome. I’m sure people like my artwork and all, but they don’t want to see it every time they come onto this blog. They want something more varied, I’m sure. Heck I want something more varied. I want to have reviews, how-to guides, progress reports, and the occasional “this is where I went” blog entry of my trip somewhere. It’s boring writing about my artwork, as much as I sometimes love it. Writing about my artwork though is the quickest thing I can come up with and allows me to keep content flowing even when I have nothing to write.

Time itself gets to me when it comes to posting content on this blog. As I stated earlier, I can easily be writing for three straight hours on a subject. I think I’ve been writing this particular entry for an hour now! The time it takes to write content gets extended when I’m doing some of these other blog subject choices.

For instance, reviews requires me not to just write up my thoughts on the product, but I must exam it and provide links on where to buy it, plus have any graphics related to the image (including the featured image and cover image). If I’m reviewing a manga, it will take me at least an hour to read through it, then an hour to three hours to write up the actual review. This is even “worse” when it comes to DVDs! I have to sit down and watch everything on the DVD, including the special features, for a proper review.

Another issue: I want all these to be queued up. I want to time when they are going to be posted so even if I’m stumped on what to write for a particular week, entries will keep going up because I write many ahead of time.

Making sure that they are ahead of time is an issue. Currently, that requires me to write probably 10 to 20 blog entries and set them up to be posted at certain times on certain dates. This is actually really overwhelming and I feel like I’m squirming to get these all done and out so they’ll post in a timely manner.

Do you know what’s even more overwhelming and makes me feel even more like I’m squirming? Trying to post them everyday without them being queued. Trying to sit down in front of my computer and crank out at least one blog entry per day. I would love to say “I don’t have time for that”, but I actually do. I just don’t have enough motivation and I don’t like the timing. Many times I’ll be posting these entries late at night when most people aren’t going to read them. I would also like to be able to leave time open to do other things, like more artwork.

My thoughts are that if I have enough queued up, I can take a break for a few days of writing to focus on other things.

I think the solution for this is either to set aside at least three hours to write blog entries OR pick a day where ALL I do is write blog entries and/or do work for writing them. (For instance, if I’m planning on reviewing a DVD, I watch that DVD, write down my thoughts, and review it on my blog.) Or both of those, maybe. I think once I have a month or two’s worth of blog entries written, I will be better off. I suppose also trying to create a posting schedule would be great too.

BOOK READING. Oh, book reading. Book reading. Book reading. I love books and all, but man, I am so lazy to read them. Well, kind of. It’s hard for me to grab a book and actually start reading. And it’s really easy for me to wander off because oh my gosh, I just had an awesome idea! I can’t tell you how many times that happens.

Book reading probably shouldn’t seem like an issue, but I have so many books that I want to read that I own. I started doing this too. I can easily read 5 to 6 books at a time without getting overwhelmed, since I break them down – I have to read at least one chapter of each book (or three chapters if the chapters are super short or 1/3rd of the chapter if it’s super long). It’s actually a good thing and I highly enjoy it.

My current issue with my book reading is that a majority of the books I’m reading are spirituality related, mostly to witchcraft.

I mean, I’m cool and all with this stuff, but I want more variety. Something non-spiritual related. It gets really tiring after a while reading about the same thing, often said in just a varied way. It’s not bad to do that, but I just don’t like it all at the same time! I have books on pirates and ninjas that are begging to be read! The only break I get from the spiritual stuff is the Red Dwarf omnibus and the Assassin’s Creed: The Secret Crusade book when I actually bother to pull it up on my iPad.

I also want to read my manga. All my manga. They’re all sitting on my shelf, in alphabetical order, looking beautiful. I want to know what I like, what I don’t like, if my old favourites still ring as being awesome, and if what I didn’t like is still terrible.

These are obviously pretty easy to do if I actually set aside time to do it and reading itself doesn’t actually take much time. I can easily read a chapter in 20 minutes or less for something full of text and an hour per manga. I could probably fill up those remaining two hours with this.

Oh, but I also want to squeeze in TV show watching somewhere too. Oh well, that can be for when I’m almost burnt out or feeling especially lazy and frustrated. It happens. Ooooh, and video game playing. I want video game playing too. Geez, I need to re-examine my time scheduling.

There’s also some other goals I need to keep in mind to work towards while I’m doing all this. You see, I’ve developed other goals while working through my current ones. I’m sure that happens to everybody. It’s pretty understandable too where some of these goals from. There’s also some older goals too that I want to work on.

Semi-New/New Goals:

Goal 1 – write Kelly’s Journey – this is an obvious, on going goal that will always be on going. The majour thing about this though is that I want to write Kelly’s Journey more frequently. I would like to aim for once a month, since I feel that is a plausible goal that currently pushes my current limit. I think every other month would work as well, possibly being more reasonable. This is a very long goal term for me and I would love to see it finished.

Goal 2 – BECOME A WITCH – okay, yeah, I’ll finally admit it. I want to be a witch. Not the broomstick-riding-green-faced-evil-person stereotype people are familiar with. I mean the nature respecting, energy receiving, spell casting magickal person. I’ve always been drawn to witchcraft and the more I read up on it, the more I identify with it. Okay, sure, there’s a few things I’ll need to change up since I don’t really like it, but the beauty of the spiritual path of witchcraft is that it is versatile. I want to practice it. I want to learn it. I want to live it.

Goal 3 – the compiling – okay, this is a bit of a weird one and the goal title makes no sense. You see, after I read up on witchcraft, pirates, ninjas, or any other subjects I have an interest in (could easily be wars that shaped the world or the Japanese language), I want to go back through the books and re-read (or skim read) all the similar ones, take notes, and organize the information in a helpful way to me. I mean handwritten notes as well, compiled into their own special notebooks that will actual as more or less a “crunch” guide to everything. I plan on typing them up at some point as well.

The primary goal for the compiling of the different subjects is simply to learn. I learn better reading once, reading again, taking notes, and then taking notes again in a slightly different way. It seems silly, but it works. The second goal (or third goal, in the case of witchcraft) for it is for inspiration for story writing. They say it’s better to read non-fiction (I’m considering what people believe in to be non-fiction, even if what they believe in is fake…if that makes sense) than fiction for story inspiration and I can’t be in more agreement. I want to figure out what kind of “rules” my world has. What is going to be different from other stories and what will stay the same? What will be fabricated and romanticized? What will be downplayed?

I’ve already gained inspiration for my stories involving witchcraft through the books I’ve read. It even helped me fill in gaps to one of my novels!

Ah, novel writing…I’m being reminded I still would like to do that too. But not now. Now is not the time.

I think the Kelly’s Journey writing is easily the most isolated goal out of everything. It doesn’t fit in with anything. I can’t work it in with my other goals. It has to go in between and I probably need to set out a week to write it. But man, that would feel so dang good to actually do. I’m still aiming to get up to episode 20 completed this year (preferably past that) and start posting frequently next year.

Becoming a witch and compiling actually can be linked together, as well as linked with the reading. I can’t start compiling until I read everything once through, so I have an idea on how to organize the information and so the second read through will stick in my head much better than the first time. Since withcraft is part of the compiling, I can pair “becoming a witch” in with it.

…once I start actually practicing the craft. I have dabbed into it occasionally, but not enough. Which reminds me, I want to do an analysis of witchcraft too. Like, when I’m practicing it, note how other people think it works (if I got it from a book and it explains it) and how I think it works. I guess that would go into a Book of Shadows, huh?

It reminds me that after I write a book featuring witches, I want to write an e-book explaining the changes I made and why I chose to include or exclude things. Okay, stop me, I’m getting too far ahead.

Alright, let’s summarize what I want to do:
– I want to write blog entries on various subjects
– I want to put up my website
– I want to draw
– I want to read
– I want to play video games
– I want to watch TV shows
– I want to write Kelly’s Journey
– I want to become a witch
– I want to compile everything I learn into smaller, bite-sized, detailed summaries

Of course, Japanese is in there too, but that’s not a goal I want to focus on currently. That comes after my website is up and running.

Alright, what I think I need to do is divide up time and days. Obviously, since I get my schedule early enough, I can plan ahead of what to do.

I should set aside about 3 hours for artwork (which can be broken up into sketches and lineart currently), 3 hours for blog entries, and 2 hours for reading on most days. Obviously, I can break up the timing (2 hours sketches, 1 hour blog entry, 30 minutes reading, 1 hour lineart) to not wear me out.

I have to take one day every two to three weeks to simply play video games and watch TV shows.

Ignore the witch and compiling goals for right now, but keep them in the back of my mind.

Let’s see if I can do this.

For now though, I’m going to go about it however I want until I write up a schedule to test.

If anybody read this, I’m amazed. Hi. Thanks for reading my thoughts.