[PERSONAL] Predictive Themes in My Rambles Artwork – a Reflection

Before you do anything, please go read the following year summaries:
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018

Did you read them? Okay, great! (Or if you didn’t…eh, okay, whatever, your choice.)

2015’s Goal Post’s Queen Side Doodles Reflected That Year

If you read the summary, 2014 was pretty dang good. Although things were getting slightly more intense, it was still pretty manageable. Nothing too bad. I ended the year on a high note.

My high note continued in my 2015 goals post, at least, if you read the post.

I noticed something interesting though when I was revisiting that post though, however:

The goal post’s featured image is a sketch of my Queen side covering her face as wings sprout from her back. I don’t know about you, this is a really, really weird picture to use for a goal post.

I look like I’m in pain.

And, well, it wouldn’t be too long after I wrote and posted the goal post that I was in pain. Increasing tensions at home, my depression was at an all-time high, I had trouble going to work, my therapist failed me, I was on unsteady ground, I made the wrong moving decision.

I want to say my life crumbled, but I know that’s not true. I’m fortunate enough where I still have my belongings, even though most of them are still in boxes at the time of writing this (September 4th, 2020). I think what happened to me can better be described as what was relevant to me was packed away so the parts of my life that didn’t serve me in any way could be exposed and gotten rid of.

Despite how hard that year was, it was definitely a transitioning point for me.

It was the pain of sprouting and spreading my wings.

The illustration at the end of the ramble also perfectly describes how that year ended:

If you recognize that piece, it’s one of my favourites. I ended up using it in 2016 and 2017 for my goal posts.

My wings have sprouted and I’ve started moving forward.

I hadn’t been sure what picture to use for the 2016 and 2017 goal posts. I tried to feel out a different piece to draw and use, but nothing came to me, so I ended up using both of those. In retrospect, I think that was 100% the right choice. Both of those years were very much transitional and I was moving forward at the pace I needed to.

I would say the most notable things from those two years was the fact I went to conventions and pushed harder for TrainerKelly’s Network to happen. There was also another event, but I’m not comfortable talking about that at the moment.

When it came to my 2018 Goals post, I found myself suddenly inspired to do a new piece. Interestingly, it’s both my Queen and Creator sides, fused together:

This piece turned out to also be a reflection of my inner self for the year. I really dove deep into exploring my personal issues using my Queen & Creator selves as avatars in my mind and really fought my way out. The amount of healing that happened was impressive.

The Queen has the sword because I was 1.) healing the mother wound (so she was more prominent) and 2.) to represent truth.

I was no longer slowly moving forward, but moving fast.

I think the fact 2018 pretty much seemed to drop me in 2019 and speed off is a testament to that.

This was also a reuniting of my Queen and Creator side. I don’t remember when, but I realized I had badly neglected my Creator self and that’s why I wasn’t going anywhere with TrainerKelly’s Network.

It’s taken me to this year to get to this point.

Where’s the 2019 and 2020 pictures?

I actually kept getting hit with a whole bunch of visions on what 2019 was for me, but I didn’t want to put the effort into drawing them all. When I do get to it, I’ll post them up.

For 2020, I don’t think I have had any particular visual. I think the visual I had started getting in 2019, which was my fused self walking on the ground with no wings, would have been for this year too.

What does walking on the ground with no wings represent to me?

It represents aligning with a new, much better reality. I do not need to rush, as it’s configuring at the moment.

And I would say, yeah, I’m definitely being aligned and configured.

Oh man, I should totally draw those pieces just so you can feel how they feel.

Conclusions

I’m actually amazed at how reflective these pieces were of my inner world. I couldn’t help but share how amazing it was in retrospect!

I guess when I draw more pieces like that for the future, it might be worth trying to see how the piece reflects the year. Hmmm…

To be honest, I probably wouldn’t reflect on it until later anyway.