[PERSONAL | MY DAY] Personal Updates – Long Overdue

Warning: I most likely will not be editing these posts, so please forgive any mistakes I make.

WOW. I could have sworn I had done another update post sometime in October. I’m kind of shocked that I only did up to September for this blog! Granted, I haven’t really been in a position all year long to really be blogging daily or weekly. Except now. I think. I actually think I can blog at least once a week now…AND have stuff to talk about!

Where can I start? A lot of things have gone on. I think I’m just gonna bullet point them for the sake of simplicity and elaborate on things later on if I feel like it.

First, I’m gonna post this long quote of an unreleased post. It looks like I did intend to post another update…I just never posted it, so here is the content of that post:

Hey everybody! I feel like I haven’t written these in a while. Casually checking my last post, it was on the 10. It’s been a little over 10 days now. I think I have enough stuff to tell you to warrant an update. I will be talking more about my creative updates in a separate post in detail, so if you’re interested in those in addition to these ones, go check it out!

I think it’s really hard to start these posts sometimes, especially since this time I actually have a lot I can list! I guess to start, I should say I have recovered from the break-in. I was really upset about it for the rest of the day and a few days after, but it’s mostly passed. The only thing that didn’t pass are the lessons learned from it. I think those need to stay though.

If you have been keeping up with my post, you may know that I had an interview with Staples and I was fairly certain I got the job. Well, I definitely did! I began last week. I came in on Wednesday like I thought I was suppose to, but nobody was prepared for it…not the store and not me. None of the managers in the store knew how to do the hiring manager’s job and the hiring manager wasn’t there. The manager who had been helping me had thrown ideas around with me of what I could do for my starting day, but since it hadn’t even been officially decided what department I would be in and I wasn’t in the system, we decided it would be a lot better if I just tried again the next day.

I am a Copy & Print Center associate. I make over $10, but I don’t make as much as I would like to. I’m really excited though about being in the Copy & Print Center! It fits my interest and crazy me wants to have all my work printed in-house one day, if my business ever gets to that level. It’s an eventual goal, but I need to take the steps I need to get there first.

My co-workers seem really nice and friendly. Occasionally they have an annoyed tone, which kind of makes me cringe, but that’s okay. I’m pretty sure it’s unintentional. The work itself is a lot of fun and just the kind of work I like: quick, micro-tasks and, generally, a lot of ’em!

When I was working at Walmart, one of the things I realized I really enjoyed about the Customer Service Manager position was that, for the most part, it was a series of quick micro-tasks. You weren’t doing one long task, like ringing on a register or stocking shelves, but rather getting change, getting paper for the printers, assisting customers, getting bags, and so much more. Most of the tasks were fairly quick to do and usually easy, which made it a lot of fun. After I went to the floor, I longed for those quick micro-tasks again. I think I got it!

My favourite machine at the store right now is the DocuCutter. It cuts out business cards, postcards, and notecards and it’s just one of the coolest pieces of machinery I have every used! Not that I have used a lot. It was really a learning experience finally knowing how they cut business cards. I knew business cards were cut by machines (through reasoning; ’cause why the heck would a company want to cut out a thousand business cards by hand?!), but I had no idea how they did it. I thought maybe they had a die-cut machine to cut it the way they did. I guess I was sort of correct, but also sort of wrong. They have special machines that cut them out! I’m sure there’s a variety of machines on the market.

I’m really enjoying all the machines I’ve been using though and I’ve been only working there for about a week. The laser copiers/printers are pretty cool. I didn’t really like the quality at first, but it’s started to grow on me. Now I want one.

The thing that really excites me the most about the Copy & Print Center is the potential it has for me. From a current standpoint, it would be a great place to take advantage of for creating my products for my business almost on demand. From a future standpoint, it’s equipping me for the skills I need for when I start in-house production of my products. Assuming it ever even gets there.

I’m hoping in the future to see if I could get a job at much larger print production place. I’m curious about what other machines they use! Who knows…maybe it’ll be more money too! That would be pretty awesome, actually. I’d get to do something I like and have an interest in AND get paid more money to do it!

Anyway, it’s been a pretty good few days so far at work. I began to do actual work yesterday, since I now have my numbers at work. I got to build project details on the computer, make copies, scan pictures, Photoshop stuff, and have fun overall. The day didn’t go by as fast as I would have liked it too, but oh well. I’m sure in the future when I am doing more and am not so out of it like I have been, it’ll be a stupid amount of fun!

I walked in today to a surprisingly long line at the Copy & Print Center. The only person on was one of the managers and they were running around like crazy. When they saw me, they said they didn’t know I was coming in and asked what if I knew how to do something (can’t remember what). I knew what to do though and I began to take care of customers.

I felt really bad during this first half of the day because it was chaotic and I felt that I was performing inadequately. I am still new, so I guess I shouldn’t been too hard on myself. I’m still unsure and uncomfortable with some tasks. I know overtime I’ll be the one training the newbies and helping them overcome their lack of comfort.

Oh, speaking of which…literally everybody in the print center remembers how they were when they first started! Not only that, but they took it to heart! They have gone out of their way to make sure to teach me what I was doing and gave me warnings about things ahead of time. I really appreciate that about them. It’s not too often I hear people say how they felt when they first began something and it’s been helpful having them tell me. So thank you, if you coworkers ever read this! Thank you!

Anyway, one of my most notable tasks was working on some copies of paper that had to go on cardstock. The woman handed me two sheets of paper, both with the same information on it, and wanted them both on the same piece of paper with a handful of copies. I told her okay and attempted to have them line up correctly on the paper just simply with copying it, but it wasn’t working. I inquired with the manager who was helping out with the print center about what I should do and the conclusion was to scan it. They originally suggested using Publisher, but I hate that program and can’t remember for the life of me how to use it to late it out, so I decided, hey, why not just use Photoshop. After we scanned it and tried to see if we could make the image print out on the page multiple times just via the PDF, but we couldn’t…so Photoshop it was! I made the file and printed it…and then I found out I laid out the images incorrectly (she said she wanted 4 to a page and I didn’t realize that there were two different sections already on the image). She was nice though and said to print her out some more copies of that one and then do the other one she wanted, so I did. It was mostly a pleasant experience.

Once the supervisor for the area came it, the print center suddenly quieted down. It was actually kind of weird. The rest of the day was kind of boring and the computers were all running slow. I attempted to use the last bit of the day to do some computer training, but the computer ran too slow to get a significant amount done.

I’ve been feeling down recently every time I head off to work. I haven’t quite figured out what exactly is making me feel down. Once I get to work and go inside and begin my job, I’m fine. It’s just all that time before work that makes me feel down and having to force myself to sleep because I have to get up at a certain time. I do find myself complaining frequently about how I don’t want to go because I want to work on my projects, but I suspect that’s only on the surface. Maybe I’m reflecting my own disappointment in myself for not meeting my personal expectations, but I don’t know. There’s a couple of other issues too that are pulling me down, so the mixture of them just isn’t good.

It’s also been a bit difficult not seeing the pretty boy and being so far away from my main equipment. I’m staying with my mom, since it’s closer to my workplace. I barely have anything here, which makes it hard on me. However, I am trying to look at this as a good thing, since it gives me the opportunity to focus on projects that don’t require my computer (like actually sketching…) and a chance not to be distracted by stupid things.

I have been trying to push myself through more sketching as of recently. The few times I have been over my dad’s, I hoped to scan the pictures in. I didn’t though since they’re not pencil lined yet. I’m sure that’s probably confusing to you guys, but I’ll explain sometime in the future! I promise! Kind of. I’m hoping to show you guys eventually. I’m hoping to do some line art and colouring too in the near future, especially since I have synced my artwork folder so I can access it from my laptop and from my desktop. Super helpful right there!

I think the pretty boy is doing surprisingly well for not being able to see me everyday. I miss him a lot! I can’t wait to see him on my next day off.

Since I started to stay with my mom, I have been cooking a lot. When I stay with my dad, I’m overcome by some weird fear of using his kitchen, since I don’t feel welcome, and opt for eating out instead. This is a bad thing though for multiple reasons. I actually think for the week or so leading up to working at Staples, all I did was eat out…you get sick of that kind of food REAL fast when you have it every day.

All I wanted was to cook something at home.

So, starting at my mom’s house, I did! I was craving a vegetarian fajita, so I bought ingredients for that, as well as some Suga Rosa sauce for pasta. I had the Suga Rosa with my mother the first time I decided to cook, while I had the vegetarian fajita the second night.

The vegetarian fajita was delicious! It mostly was peppers, garlic, and onions. I threw in a bit of zucchini too. For my protein, I added Beyond Meat’schicken strips. The fajitas, overall were DELICIOUS! I felt pretty full, but also very healthy. Probably a result of eating lots of vegetables, harharhar. I actually felt TOO healthy to an extent and wanted some junk food, but held off.

I had the fajita mix the next night as well, since I had some left over. It was still SO GOOD heated up. I can’t wait to have it again, but I think maybe I’ll go for some type of stirfry thing instead. I don’t know.

Last night, I had spinach pasta with some homemade sauce that consisted of diced tomatoes, garlic, onion, tomato sauce, veggie grounds, and a dash of red lentils. Yes, I put lentils in it! I also put too much water (for the lentils), so the taste of the sauce is lacking. Regardless, it still tasted good!

Tonight, I ate some tortellini with pesto. Yum!

So, that is what’s been going on with me. Maybe I’ll have more of my projects done the next time I talk to you guys, but maybe not. Only time will reveal the answers! Until next time, bye!!!

And then I had a sister post for my creative works that I never released, so here’s that:

I thought I did a picture for my artwork updates, but I guess I didn’t yet. Oops.

What’s up, you guys? If you were wondering what the heck is going on with my artwork, or my creative works in general, this is the right blog entry to look at!

I’m just going to warn you right now that the only front of creativity works that has been worked on is artwork. If you’re looking for some story writing or something, you are going to be sorely disappointed! Of course, I don’t know why you would be on here right now, looking for a blog entry about a story. You guys should know I’m not writing anything right now. Other than these blog entries.

Comic Updates

As you hopefully should know from the last update, I completed a storyboard, but I needed to do a storyboard for a different comic. I am currently in the process of working on the storyboard of the second comic. I’m actually considering dividing the comic up into chapters, since I think it may reach 100 pages…but I shall see.

Seriously though, this comic is long. I keep getting really excited because I’m like “oooo, I’m on page 43” or whatever, only to look at the script and realize I still have 30-something pages to go. I groan inside, but quickly brush it off, since I’m enjoying the storyboard process. It’s making me realize that the characters have a lot more personality than I thought they did. They’re being quite a lot of fun. So far.

I don’t know.

Maybe by the end of the storyboarding, I will hate each and every one of them for taking so dang long. And then I’ll hate myself because it’s my fault that the story is so long.

SO. MANY. PAGES.

I also realized today that this original comic will continue for quite a while after the fan comic ends, so I need to come up with something to replace the fan comic. I’m considering my “Kelly Plays a Video Game” comic series instead, but that feels like a quick fix and not a serious one. I have to contemplate a bit more. I’m sure you guys will know when I have started to work on that!

I know it probably seems weird to want to plan something in advance like this. I haven’t even begun sketching any of the comics, only the storyboarding! However, my plan is to get a ton of pages done in advance, so I can post without stressing. The only way I’m going to be able to keep up is if I plan ahead of time! Not too far ahead, but ahead JUST enough so I am prepared.

I’ll have to keep thinking…

Artwork Updates

I haven’t touched anything in terms of colouring. Instead, I have been sketching. I want to be like “lots and lots of sketching”, but it’s been a lot less than I actually wanted to. I’ve been trying to focus on the stuff I want to sell at conventions. I decided to work on chibi versions of the characters most recently, since I know those are meant for smaller items, not the prints. They’re also fun to draw.

Other than that…I haven’t really done anything else. Well, I guess there is that art trade with the YouTuber, Tauberpa. I haven’t coloured it yet, but I sketched it.

Hopefully I’ll have some artwork posted in the coming months. I really miss being pretty active with it!

Overall

I don’t really have anything else to say…ONWARD!!! Bye!

After all these quoted post, both from September, I am fairly certain that you guys want to know…has anything changed? Is the DocuCutter still my favourite machine at work? Do I still think my co-workers are nice? Have I gotten any further on any of my projects? Have I storyboarded more comics yet or have they been sitting in limbo? THE WORLD MUST KNOW! Or not. I don’t think the world cares.

I did indeed start my job at Staples. The DocuCutter machine is still one of my favourite machines, but since then, I have thoroughly enjoyed the cutting machine, the wide-format laminating machine, and the machine that punches holes for spiral-bounded books and comb-binded books. I like the fact that the printers/copiers have an option to automatically staple stuff together. That’s pretty dang cool to me!

I think things have been mostly going well. I’m still waiting for my shirt, that they’ve gotten wrong over and over again. I think they’re going to get it this time. Overall though, I still think everyone I work is really nice. The only thing I don’t like is the fact they tend to jump over me when I’m trying to answer someone’s question. They’re not the only ones who do that to me though, so it’s something I just have to grin and bear until I’m alone. I like to listen what someone fully has to say before I answer them.

The only truly troubling thing that has happened to me was a few weeks ago, my supervisor pulled me aside to say that I was too slow, I lacked a sense of urgency, I seemed to know less than what I should know, and that I seemed to hold myself back. The day this happened was a particularly rough day where the two other people in my department kept telling me what to do when I was already about to do them, which if you’ve ever had that happen to you, you know how irritating it is to have people tell you to do things when you already know to them or when you’re just about to do them. I was offended or upset by anything she said — I reluctantly told her that I have a fast reaction time and slow processing (which is true), which I hate to tell people because I always feel like it’s an excuse. Like, someone isn’t going to care if my brain reacts fast, but processes slow. The lack of urgency is true, but in a way that’s kind of hard to describe for me…I guess my own work practice isn’t urgency, but near or full effortlessness? I don’t know. And the holding myself back…

…I knew I held myself back. I hold myself back all the time. I hold myself back because I’m afraid of what will happen if I let myself fall into whatever I’m holding myself back from. What will happen if I fail? What if I succeed? Both are equally scary. It’s something I’m trying to overcome, but sometimes it’s hard. Hearing someone actually say it to me though almost felt like the GOOD kind of kick to the butt. I’m actually surprised it’s the first time someone had ever directly said to me that they felt I was holding myself back. Which is absolutely true.

Since then though, I have improved, I think? I’ve been alone a bunch of times, I’ve learned a majority of the machines pretty well. I think the only thing I’m still not good at is working on a team. Group work though just has never been my thing — I’m an independent worker. I can work on a team or in a group, but I don’t intertwine with others. I’m very much a separate, but together kind of person.

I know I had one night when I was alone and I was running around like crazy. It felt kind of nice, but I didn’t like that I was feeling a sense of urgency. I was feeling the urgency that everyone else seemed to possess, but I personally don’t like urgency. Maybe the only time I would display urgency is if the customer is in such a major rush, just to acknowledge that they ARE in a rush. Otherwise…I want to show a swift, graceful calmness. I want to show effortlessness. I want to show that what the customer is asking me to do is easy and it can be done quickly. I feel like urgency often comes off as a frantic rush. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to deal with someone who is frantic. Who cares what I think though, right?

Overall though, work has been good!

I know in the beginning, it was kind of annoying. I was staying at my mother’s during my work days and going up to my dad’s whenever I had a day off. They’re about two hours away, so you can probably imagine how irritating that was. However, all my stuff was at my dad’s and my boyfriend was closer to my dad’s than my mom’s, so I went up there as often as I can.

My boyfriend and I went to Florida and visit my grandparents about two weeks after I started to work at Staples. I know all of us were afraid of what my grandparents were going to think of him, but to our surprise…it went well. Like REALLY well. Even know, Hurricane acts proud of himself for making a good impression. He is adorable!

Then, I think a week or two after Florida, some drama stuff happened with his parents and the two of us — which I personally don’t want to recount because it stresses me out — and Hurricane, my mom, and I all decided we should cut off contact with his parents. If Hurricane wants to talk to them, he can answer the phone, but my mom and I will no longer talk to them. They honestly said some pretty dang horrible stuff to me and the reaction I had gotten that particular day was just…I don’t even want to talk about it.

Hurricane and I lived with my mom, who started to get annoyed at us. I was getting a bit annoyed too for a couple of reasons. My mom encouraged us to look for an apartment and did some research herself. She sent over the information, I made an appointment, and we went over!

Basically, within one week, during October, Hurricane got a job and we got our own place! It was really annoying at first because we barely had anything there. We had my TV from my dad’s so we could play our video games, despite our TV’s problems. We had to sit or lay on the floor. We had to buy a shower curtain and towels. There was just so much we had to do!

I think the hardest things for me was the lack of my main desktop computer and the lack of a couch. I can’t tell you how freakin’ badly I wanted our couch! Our couch honestly isn’t even good condition and we’ve had a few opportunities to update it, but NOPE! I wanted our dang love seat so we could sit down and play video games and stuff in an easy manner. And my main desktop…oh I missed it so! I’ve been using my laptop, which I do like, but…it’s just not my desktop. I always want to sparingly use my laptop since I like to use it when I travel.

My mom did eventually buy us two chairs while I set up a cheap card table that I had originally bought to temporarily put my TV on when I was at my dad’s. It worked for eating and some work, but it didn’t really make our apartment quite feel like home.

I managed to get my dad to bring down all my stuff one weekend when I worked, but came home early. I sent everyone directions of what I wanted/didn’t want in the apartment…which everyone ignored and made everything a bit harder than I was aiming it to be.

When I began to set up everything, I started with my dang computer desk because I MISSED IT SO MUCH! I knew exactly where I wanted it to go too – in the corner of our bedroom, by the window. The plug was in the perfect spot and it was the only area where it didn’t stick out awkwardly. I think both my mom and Hurricane thought I was going to have it in the living room, but I knew I wasn’t going to. The living room is way too large, open, and has too many distractions. I already figured Hurricane was going to be using it a lot…which I was right about. That is where the video games are, after all!

We also got our couch back! We couldn’t sit on it until pretty recently though when my mother came over to help move things around. (Thanks mom!)

Finally, our apartment has begun to feel like home! There’s still a lot of boxes to go through and set up, but it’s mostly at a point where I can see what fits, what doesn’t, and what kind of storage I might need (shelves, mostly). I’m actually looking forward to finishing putting everything away and putting up the finishing touches. I have quite a lot of pictures I want to hang up, personally! What can I say? I’m a fan of my own artwork!

The apartment is quite an adjustment. Strangely enough though, paying bills for it doesn’t phase me. I see so many people complain and whine about paying bills and I’m just over here like “…and adults complain about all these things why”. I don’t know if I just accept it or something? I’m not sure. I do know we’re currently on a tight budget and I feel like financially, things are a bit rocky. I’m predicting that Hurricane and I both either need to get full time jobs that pay highly and/or second/third jobs. I’m personally hoping our business take off, but I’m probably dreaming until I actually start posting and promoting things. Day jobs aren’t a bad thing to have though while letting dreams come true. Even two or three day jobs aren’t bad.

Speaking of my dreams and business, let me talk about my own productivity!

When I was still at my mother’s, I began to draw a lot. I seemed to finally regain back the momentum I needed to be actively creative again. It was super nice and I drew a lot! Of course, shortly after, we got the apartment and I, once again, fell into a rut until about yesterday. Kind of.

Art-wise, I certainly have been in a rut since I drew pictures in mid-October. To be fair though, I was still moving and still wasn’t settled down. Not to mention, my tablet pen broke unexpectedly and shortly after I got a replacement pen, my tablet broke (go figure). I have a beautiful brand new one now that is an updated version of my old one, which seems to serve me pretty well. The only new thing I have drawn since moving into the apartment, I believe, was a picture meant for one of Hurricane360’s videos that I drew temporarily on my tablet because he was begging me and I didn’t have my printer/scanner at the time. I didn’t even finish that image because he couldn’t do the video that was going to use it that day like he had planned.

Business-wise though, I’ve been hunting out motivation and information. I’ve tried to read a few things before, but everything I seemed to read was specifically for small business that planned on having more than one employee and sold things that weren’t creative. It’s not that it didn’t have helpful information, but rather the bulk of what I was reading felt irrelevant to my goals. I needed something meant for selling art at the very least. I ended up coming across a handful of books that I purchased with my commission money (I keep it separate from my non-commission money so I can use it on business purchases). I started to read one called Art Inc, which has been extremely helpful so far! After the first two or three chapters though (which was a lot about organizing and promoting), I knew I had to put the book down. I got the information I needed from it for right now. Perhaps I’ll finish the book later, but for this moment, I got the information I needed from it.

The other book I have begun to read is How to Make Money using Etsy. I haven’t gotten far enough in to know what information I need about selling on Etsy, but I hope to soon. It’s pretty easy to tell when I get the information I need for the moment because my interest in the book begins to falter. There’s also this feeling that I don’t need anything else from it at this particular moment.

Art Inc contained a lot of tips about organizing, which really made me think about the way I organized my files. Up until recently, I didn’t have a system to organize my artwork. I kind of just called them titles relevant to the image and that was it. For instance, if it was my Pokémon fan character, Kelly, standing in a field, the image might have been called kelly_standinginafield and that was it. That’s fine and all, but it wasn’t really organized. I only started to organize my artwork a bit when I begun to do my artwork subsite and found I needed an easy way to find and sort my artwork. The format worked well for what I needed and I begun to use it with my most recent set of sketches.

The format I started to use is fairly simple (but probably seems complicated):  I indicate if it’s an original or fan work, what category/series is the work from/based on, and the title of the piece. So, taking that example from above, kelly_standinginafield.png would be fw_kj_kellystandinginafield.png (Fan Work, Kelly’s Journey, Kelly Standing in a Field).

Since reading Art Inc, I decided to take things a few steps further. First, instead of lumping all my artwork into a few catch-all folders, I would divided them up by month/year, what type of piece were they (CG, Sketch, Traditional, Completed, etc.), and even further by file type (PSD, LIP, etc.) OR usage (HiRes, LowRes, Internet) for instance. Then the file names would all include the specific DATE they were created.

If “Kelly Standing in a Field” was completed 11/19/2015, the file name would now be fw_kj_kellystandinginafield_11-19-15.png. If there were multiple versions of it, I’d had a “v” and a number, plus what made it different, just before the date (ex. fw_kj_kellystandinginafield_v1cel_textured_11-19-15.png; fw_kj_kellystandinginafield_v2cel_notexture_11-19-15.png). If there are different colouring styles, it’d be indicated after the “version” marker (v1cel, v2pd).

I really like these file names because they tell me exactly what the file is. My older file names kind of did that, but not as much as these ones. I really like them! They seem harder to write than they actually are. I think everything will be a lot easier to locate now, but we’ll see in time.

There’s a few other things Art Inc made me think about, but that is the thing that stood out to me the most…the organizing. I may write a separate post to elaborate more on the creative-side stuff.

I had three days off this week in a row, so I decided to take advantage of it and actually work on my projects. I’ve put them off just because of all the moving around, but now that I’m in one spot and my work area looks nice (I cleaned it all up pretty much in a few hours), I am ready!

I was having some majour anxiety on Tuesday because of all the stuff I wanted to do! I kept procrastinating and silently hating myself because I was procrastinating. Sure, I spent a lot of time playing video games with Hurricane (Pokémon Colosseum and Smash Melee in particular; man, I TOTALLY forgot how BAD the names in Colosseum are…I wonder if the Japanese names are as wacky?), but…my projects! My projects that are just sitting there! The ones I was going to do today!

How was I going to figure out which ones to do, especially when there are so many I wanted to do?!

Turns out, the answer was simple: make a list. I made a list dividing what I wanted to do, what I NEEDED to do, and what were kind of in a gray-area. What I want to do is a small list, but the amount of stuff I NEED to do was small. So was my gray-area. Sometimes I forget how simple list can make things. It became easy to figure out what to do once I wrote it down and took down the “wants”.

…of course, the wants are still bothering me. I want to do them, but there are just so many of them! Argh. Oh well, needs first! And then gray-areas.

I think the “wants” are okay to mix in, but only after I either finish all the needs or a majority of them so they don’t get in the way. I just need to figure out how to organize all the “wants”. Which “want” is more important than another? Do I organize by this year’s original goals? Do I gear up for next year? How do I go about this?

I began with Hurricane’s artwork. It was this art piece with him, Daniel, and me dressed in the cat suits from Super Mario 3D World. Hurricane and I are doing an LP (Let’s Play, which is a type of video game walkthrough, for those who don’t know) for Kellicane Mondays. The only reason he hasn’t posted it was because he was waiting for my artwork! I started a bit too late though, so I went to bed.

I woke up nice and early though (despite going to bed SUPER late) and proceeded to knock out the remainder of the image, an art trade, and two convention pieces! This was more than I have done recently. I feel like I should be more excited than I am, but sadly…I’m kind of disappointed in myself. I think I expected myself to do more. I think the fact that the cat suit artwork was a continuation of the night before and the art trade had already been inked made less of an impact on me. It set me up for a bit of a disappointment, I suppose. I think I wanted to knock out more artwork. I would do that now, but there’s something I have to do tomorrow that interrupts that flow…sad face.

One of things I did start to do though was record myself lining and colouring my artwork. I think I need to play around with the settings though because rendering is taking HOURS to do. I mean, rendering videos take hours anyway, but this…this is ridiculous. It’s gotta be my settings. It’s not like it’s one or two hours long either. Currently, I am rendering a video that is supposedly going to take over eleven hours! ELEVEN HOURS! Geez!

Oh well.

Most of those videos are going to be exclusive to my Patreon. I plan on posting a few on YouTube publicly in the future, but the bulk of them will be posted unlisted and linked only to my Patreon. I want to give people who pay me money for my artwork to see me working on it in action!

I kind of wonder if recording myself working on artwork will be helpful to keeping me on track. I know when I livestream, I seem to get more artwork done than when I’m not. I think knowing there is a potential audience helps to keep me focused. It’s kind of like how those old NaNoWriMo blog entries helped me because I pretended I had an audience who was keeping up with my progress. I’m pretty sure there wasn’t…but just pretending or knowing I could potentially have an audience was motivating. I suppose I should bring that back? I did try it before, but maybe with a few adjustments, I can do it.

…let me see.

I’m really excited about being able to work on my projects! I’ve been wanting to throw myself into them so badly! Hurricane has been surprisingly okay with me doing so and I thank him for that. It really means a lot.

There are still some more mundane things to work on, so I’m going to set a day aside to do all those lovely, mundane things. That way, I don’t feel awful for not throwing myself into my projects.

I know some people perceive my projects as unimportant. Whimsical even. However, throughout this year, I have been reminded that they are important to my own well being. Part of last year and for the majority of this year, I have been pulled away from them, shut down from them, ignored them, and pushed them away for the sake of human matters. As a consequence, I plunged into a depression darker than I have experienced before, felt more alone than I ever have, and just had a hard time going on with life overall. These projects breath life into me, as if I have come up from the ground for a breath of fresh air. When I work on my projects, every aspect of my life seems to balance.

I suppose it’s because I’m a “creative”.

It’s okay to take a break for a week or two, especially if I’m not close to a red zone of mine. However, when those weeks become months, I’m at risk for plunging into those areas I don’t want to visit again.

I’m fine with human matters, really, I am, but when they’re forced off autopilot and I have to fill my time up figuring those out instead of being creative, I plunge. It’s not fun. The sad thing is, if I had just kept up with my creative projects, I would have had a much easier time getting through the earlier portion of this year. The happiness they generally bring me is something I really needed to help me make decisions that I ended up unable to make because I was being crushed by pressure.

Okay, enough of me trying to explain myself. I’ll let you guys go. Until next time! Bye!