It’s FINALLY 2018 (…like it has been for weeks, I know) and it is finally time for me to write my 2018 goals! I have been holding off on writing them up for personal reasons (mainly mood). I’m feeling pretty decent today (I can feel the core of me wanting to sing and put a little kick in my step), so I’m jumping onto the chance to write my goals. I can feel the field of torment (I’ll talk about this later) wanting to torment me, but hahahaha, you guys. You can’t touch me!
Unlike the past two years, I am doing something a bit more simple with my goals. I’m telling you what I am going to do. I’m not going to try and break it down month-by-month, I’m not going to go into denial about what I really want and pretend to be all shiny-eyed. Nope. You are just getting a list of what I am doing this year.
The following lists are here to help me stay on track.
The theme for this year is: I am balanced, happy, and productive in all around, in all aspects of my life.
Let’s start with TrainerKelly’s Network, as that is my company and it needs more attention than ever. And I’m giving it more attention than ever. That’s not what I plan on doing — it is what I am doing. TKN deserve better!
- I am slashing most prices on my online shop;
- I am adding a few additional products to my online shop, mostly because they were things I would have had earlier, but the 3rd sites only added them in the last few months;
- I am condensing certain options (mostly phone cases) to make it easier to browse;
- If I can figure it out, the small trinket items will be mix-and-match 3 for $7;
- I am updating the website to be prettier, easier, and simpler; you can see a preview of what it will more or less look like on the Company page and the Site page;
- I’m making $5,000 through my online shop (if you would like to contribute to that, obviously you may);
The most important part of TraineKelly’s Network (besides from myself, of course, wink wink) is the story and visual content, both of which have been lacking up until now. 2018 is bringing more content (whether or not it will actually be posted this year is a decision that will come later).
- I am doing 100 general illustrations, not based off comic scenes or short story scenes nor for the website;
- I am doing additional illustrations for the website (the number…I am not sure yet; I’ll figure this out for each project);
- I am writing 200 short stories this year, which will cover the 3 worlds I already have released publicly;
- I am creating a year and a half’s worth of comic pages/strips for: MAKE ME A MODEL, Naitmarish Glimpse, Fairies’ Day, Naitmarians’ Day, The Birth of Death, and SM;
- I am posting on YouTube a minimum of ONCE A MONTH;
- I am creating character sheets for all of my characters;
- I am creating non-chibi versions of the chibi artwork you see in the character biographies and on my online shop;
- I am growing my YouTube to 500 subscribers;
- I am growing my other social network pages to 1,000 people!
I will be checking in with myself in July to see what my progress on all of these goals are. I am aiming to get ahead, so I can do even more content!
I seem to also be feeling some scheduled days during the week. I didn’t feel them before, but I’m starting to feel them now!
- Tuesdays: Boring business stuff (paying taxes, shipping out product, etc.) and writing blog entries;
- Wednesdays: Illustration days! I literally will spend the entire day illustrating. This simply may mean sketches or working on full colour pieces;
- Thursdays: Video recording & editing, if applicable;
- Friday to Monday: Primary project with smaller tasks afterward
I kind of laugh because my husband used to suggestion I have set days for everything when I wanted to work on projects, but I kept putting off and the few times I tried, I failed. I guess it’s now time! These have been kicking around in my head for a bit.
For Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, I will still work on whatever my primary project is, but for a shorter amount of time (2 to 4 hours as opposed to 6 or 8 hours). Friday to Monday, I will work on my primary project.
If I need breaks in between my works (such as to refresh my mind), then I will take them as needed. If they aren’t needed, then I won’t.
I do know I want to figure out what smaller tasks to incorporate after my primary project is complete or I have worked for 6 to 8 hours on it. Hmmm…
I will know in time, when my routine is more normal. That way, I can add in more and be able to do it!
Personal is pretty easy as it is hard. The easy part is whatever I started last year. The hardest? What I pushed aside in order to pursue TrainerKelly’s Network that I am bringing back into my life. It’s time for me to have a little fun, dang it!
- I am continuing to have a hold on my money: I maintain $500 in my checking and have an additional $1,000 in my savings, plus an additional $500 in my secondary bank account;
- I continue correcting my diet – mainly more greens, keeping track of my nutrients (thanks Cronometer!), eating more appropriate portions, and anything else I discover on my research;
- Learn more parapara dances with at least one a day; my friends host parapara events in NYC which are SUPER FUN, but the last few times I felt discouraged because I had trouble keeping up with the dances, so I hope to learn more to help me dance along better;
- Dance more parapara, enough to burn at least 100 calories (approximately 10 dances); I’m dancing parapara for exercise too, you know! Let’s be honest here — I’m not going to get exercise too many other ways unless my husband & I move somewhere where walking is more convenient than driving a car;
- Balance TrainerKelly’s Network, WG, spending time with my husband, and spending time with myself by myself (yes, this is separate from spending time with my husband…and exercising);
- I am finally back to studying Japanese! I finish my notes that I have started and go back to lesson 1 in order to brush up on what I am forgetting;
- I am writing Kelly’s Journey again for literally nobody else but me;
- I am reading lots of books, from fiction to non-fiction! I will get through 50 books by the end of the year (I know that is not a lot for some people, but it will be for me);
- I am playing video games this year as part of my “video game vacations”;
- Ultimately, I am getting back to the things I love that I have put off because I have been focusing on TrainerKelly’s Network. It is time to balance everything out!
- Also, I want my husband and me to have home.
I’ll admit, the hardest thing for me is trying to figure out how to balance everything. I’ve tried in the past, but I often snowball off my plans. Normally, I would just imagine how I want things to be, but I’m having trouble imagining how to balance everything. I’m sure it will come to me.
The Field of Torment
Last year, in October 2017, I realized something:
I am screaming in the back of my head.
All different ages of me are screaming.
Surrounding them are shadowy figures. Each shadowy figure is talking into my ear, while I am holding onto their hands tightly.
Some of the shadowy figures speak in a rather mocking, hiss-like tone. Others sound like an immature group of grumpy children. Some sound like a higher-pitched, younger version of myself, while some sound like a slightly deeper, of times more angry. Sometimes, they sound just like the people who said the words to me.
I imagine it like a field. Which is why I called it the Field of Torment.
It’s an accumulation of experiences, thoughts, feelings, ideas, and opinions. It’s where the things don’t serve you go when you don’t deal with them properly, whether because you don’t want to deal with it or don’t realize it.
Having the Field of Torment was important for me to realize. I finally woke up, realizing two things about myself I hadn’t quite understood before:
1.) I gave people authority over me, including in areas they should have no authority over. I needed to seek out their permission, even if it was permission I just needed to give myself;
2.) I still hold myself back and the Field of Torment is why.
As I was coming up with my 2018 ideas, the younger-sounding voice of me whined: you can’t do 200 comics and 100 illustrations! You can’t make $5,000 on your online shop! You have nothing up and even if you had anything up, you still wouldn’t make it! You need to make it smaller!
At first, I was going to listen. Yeah, younger-sounding voice of me, you seem right, that all seems too much and I should cut it down. However, a moment later, I caught myself in this negative thought pattern. I reflected on it for a moment: is this impossible though?
I think it’s important to reflect and tell the difference between whether or not you will be able to do something. Even if something was a failure in the past, it’s worth getting up and trying again with a bit of a different strategy, which in my case, is declaring how many I will do.
I told the voice, naaaah, I’m going to do it. The voice shut up and hasn’t been back since, except for when the online shop amount is talked about. It still is freaking out over that, but eh, I’ll be fine.
Since the Field of Torment is still bothering me, literally, what I am going to work on in February (in addition to getting back to my goals) is working through that Field of Torment. I’m going to take down all these shadowy figures in the most lovely way I possibly can, even if I am wielding a sword and creative energy in my head. I need to understand them: why did they occur, what are they doing right now, and how can I let them go or deal with them better?
While I expect this to be much longer than a month-long process, I at least want to cut through a lot of the gunk before I start to get really productive: I’m being more productive, balanced, and happy this year, after all!
As I said:
I am more productive, more balanced, and happier this year, all around, in all aspects of my life.
TrainerKelly’s Network has plenty of content coming and plenty of price changes.
My personal life will also be more balanced.
I would say see you in July, but let’s be real here: you will see me in February for another Bite-Sized Update: Creative Works Version!
I guess I will have a true goal check-in in July.
See you guys then!
Purchase My Merch
In the video, I am wearing the Touching Dreams premium t-shirt, featuring Kelly the Dreamer, one of the mascots of TrainerKelly’s Network. If you would like the t-shirt for yourself, you can get it below!
I can’t help but recommend some additional posts to read! Assuming you are finished with this one, check out these other ones:
Recent Posts –
Previous Posts –
Good-bye 2011, Hello 2012!
(Thought Note: I just noticed that the images I sketched for the posts starting with 2015 sort of have a common theme with them. I thought it started in 2016, but huh…guess not! I’ll talk about that more later. I just thought that was interesting!)